When Motherhood Joy Feels Lost (And How to Find It Again)

Have the sticky fingerprints, endless laundry, and "Mom, I need you!" moments left you wondering where your joy went?

My desire and ultimate choice to purchase the greenhouse was in response to me being reminded by my counselor to allow my dreams to flourish. Too often in my day of checking homework and grocery runs the question might pop up , “Where did my joy go?"

Maybe you've been there too. The daily marathon of motherhood – the sibling squabbles, the homework battles, the endless needs – can sometimes leave us feeling like our joy has been buried beneath a mountain of responsibilities.

Joy vs. Happiness

There's something I've been reminded of lately: joy and happiness aren't the same thing.

Happiness comes when circumstances are pleasant.

But joy?

Joy is deeper.

Joy can exist even when you're stepping on Legos at 2 AM or cleaning up the fifth spill of the day.

As Nehemiah 8:10 reminds us, "The joy of the Lord is your strength."

Not your perfect parenting.

Not your clean house.

Not your children's behavior.

The Lord Himself is our source of strength and joy.

Finding Joy in His Presence

Psalm 16:11 tells us, "In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

When motherhood feels overwhelming, the answer isn't usually found in a spa day (though those are nice!). The deepest renewal comes from time in God's presence – even if it's just five minutes in the bathroom with the door locked and His Word open on your phone.

Joy Comes in the Morning

One of my favorite promises is found in Psalm 30:5: "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning."

Motherhood has seasons – difficult ones that feel endless and beautiful ones that pass too quickly. But God promises that joy returns. The hard phase you're in right now? It's just that – a phase.

Joy is coming.

Three Ways to Revive Your Motherhood Joy

1. Shift Your Perspective

When I'm feeling joy-depleted, I try to see the ordinary moments through God's eyes:

2. Embrace Grace in the Small Moments

Joy often hides in the smallest corners of our day:

3. Release Perfection

Philippians 4:4-7 reminds us to "Rejoice in the Lord always... Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

When we release our grip on perfect motherhood and instead hold tightly to God's grace, joy finds room to grow again.

As a recovering perfectionist it is easy to slip back into wanting things to be just right.  But trust me when I say that it is exhausting to try to live perfectly.  

It is impossible to live perfectly

And it is not fun to live perfectly. 

In my effort to shift my perspective I started doing a gratitude list to start my devotion time.   And sometimes that gratitude list has things on it that seem silly.  Like the fact that my hot water heater works.   But have you been without a hot water heater and taken a shower? Not FUN, trust me.   

Finding joy in the everyday moments of being able to walk outside or just walk. 

Being able to have a refrigerator so full that I can't find what I am looking for that is provision from God. 

Being thankful for ability to wash clothes whenever I want. Yes that means ultimately they have to be folded and put away but the ability to wash in my home is a gift.  

I try to remember the things I take for granted someone may be praying for.  

Remember, dear mama, that God sees your faithful service. The dishes, the diapers, the driving to activities – it all matters to Him. And He longs to restore your joy, even in the midst of the beautiful chaos.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." – Philippians 4:4-7

Finding joy alongside you

 What's one small moment that brought you joy this week?

Let me know – I'd love to celebrate it with you!